I Almost Wrecked My Jeep

What would you say would cause someone of my incredible driving skills to wreck my Jeep? Could it be that I was attempting to avoid the untimely death of a small woodland fur creature merely foraging for food on the side of the road? No. Was it because I had glanced down and saw that my cell phone was ringing and it was a call from Governor Sanford wanting to discuss Carbon emissions coming from the button factory in Due West? No. Could it be that I almost wrecked as I searched for a radio station playing all the best of Barry Manilow? No

Today, it was blazing hot and I had just left a meeting with a guy about the use of a building for our youth area. As I walked outside, I stood talking in the parking lot for about 30 minutes and I was roasting. Combined with the fact that I was driving my Jeep without the top on, it turned out to be a hot day. I had to stop and get gas. While I was stopped, I had a thought. Why not go inside and get a push up Popsicle. They were out. But, they did have a Slushy Machine. I hadn't had a Slushy in 20 years. I decided to get me one. The only problem was that they had no straws which I thought was no big deal. I was wrong.

I got my Slushy and started heading down the road. Since I had no straw I just took me a big ole gulp. Mistake #1. It was good so I took another gulp and downed about a quarter of the cup. Even bigger mistake. About 5 seconds later it hit me. I had a sudden sharp pain in the center of my forehead. It was a brain freeze of ginormous proportions. It hurt so bad that I had to close my eyes(while driving). I almost wrecked my Jeep. It felt like every blood vessel in the front top of my head had exploded. My eyes were watering and I was pounding my forehead with my fist(some reason I always think it will make it go away). I looked like someone having a bad trip on acid with all the convulsing around in the Jeep.

Finally after about a minute the pain subsided. I then put down the Slushy until it had melted and then I drank my grape Koolaid. Lesson to this story, don't drink a Slushy without a straw.