The Big Crash

Today I took part in an age old ritual that occurs this time of year. I started off my New Year with riding my bicycle again. I used to ride about 12 or so miles a day but last February I pulled a Forrest Gump and just stopped. I didn't start riding every other day or anything like that, I just stopped. Since that time I have picked up a few pounds and lost a few breaths. I think it really hit me when I was playing basketball a few weeks ago and was winded after H. Today though, I began to ride again. And for the first time, I experienced what one would describe as a dramatic crash. I was going about 25 miles an hour and suddenly I leaned to the right and down I went. I wasn't wearing my helmet. Luckily for me, the boxes in my basement cushioned my fall. Yeah, I was riding in my basement on my stationary trainer(it's too cold up here to ride outside) and I got tripped up while standing on the pedals. Doesn't sound too dramatic does it? Sounds kinda clutsy dorky. Well that's where my imagination comes in. And thanks to my imagination, I'll provide you with an embellished third person account of "The Dramatic Crash". (The scene is set at Le Tour de France in the etages mountaigne( I think that's French for mountain stages). And the story begins......... (remember this is being told in the third person and is not me telling these dramatic events) Sammy Clary was in fourth position as he passed the 72 km mark. The peleton is dropping further behind this frenzied pace that this breakaway of four riders has set. As the breakaway approaches the summit of L'Alpe de Huez, Clary appears to be making a pass. He is now up to second place in this, the 16th stage of Le Tour de France. We'll be back after these messages from our sponsors. (At this point a new Chia Pet commercial airs featuring a new cyclist Chia. Simply apply the Chia paste to the legs of the cyclist and watch him grow manly leg hair. Ch Ch Ch Chia.....commercial ends) And we're back. We have just witnessed a horrific and dramatic crash. After, cresting the top of the hill, Sammy Clary and Jans(pronounced Yons) Fleiterik of team Hergossi became entagled when an over enthusiastic fan was run over while trying to hand Fleiterik a bottle of steriods laced water. The crash sent Clary careening off of a 45 foot cliff. Luckily, several boxes had just fallen off of the back of a UPS truck and were there to cushion his fall...............The End. Now doesnt't that sound better than I fell off my stationary bike in the basement.