Always Wear Clean Underwear

You remember growing up when your mom always told you to wear clean underwear? She would always say something to the effect of, "you might have an accident and have to go to the hospital. And you need to have on clean underwear". I never quite understood this and still don't. I have watched The Learning Channel when they have the real stories from the Emergency Room and I have never once seen them bring in an accident victim and check their underwear. Chances are they wouldn't be clean anyway because as soon as you see another car about to crash into you, you usually mess your pants anyways. Usually the first thing they do is cut your clothes off of you and get you into one of those lovely backless gowns. (Funny story about backless gowns. Once, I was making a hospital visit to one of the sick people at our church. I was on the geriatric floor. I just had left the room of the man I was visiting when I heard a bunch of people yelling. It seems as though this gentleman in his late 80's was trying to escape his hospital room. As I rounded the corner, here he came with a couple of nurses running down the hall about to catch up to him. And yes he had on a backless gown. The bad part though was that he had his backless gown on backwards. Thus, creating a frontless gown which is exactly what I wanted to see. My memory is still scarred by that event.)

But anyway, on to the purpose of my post. I would like to add to the list of things your mom should have told you. Just like you should always wear clean underwear, you should always remember to clean your ears. I had a bit of a scary moment today. I woke up thinking I should get a haircut. Melissa got me an appointment with her hairdresser. Halfway through getting my haircut. I had a paralyzing thought. Had I remembered to clean my ears? Was this lady looking at big puddles of yellow wax? Was there enough wax in my ears to make a small incense candle? I was horrified. All I could think about was me lying in a hospital bed with dirty underwear. Why didn't someone remind me to clean my ears?

The hair cut ended and immediately rushed home. I went straight to the bathroom looking for a Q-tip. Relief. My ears were clean after all. It was a great feeling knowing that I hadn't grossed out the hair dresser. But then I wondered, how many nasty ears does a hair dresser look at in a given day? If you're a hairdresser, I would love to hear your nasty ear comments.