Last night as I got ready to go to bed, I heard a rustling noise in the attic. Two weeks ago Melissa informed me that we had a bat friend in the attic. Well, last night he or she was apparently involved in some sort of ruckus up there. I beat on the wall and told him to quiet down. That didn't work. I then turned on the attic light and threatened to go up there with a tennis racket. That didn't work either because he obviously saw straight through my bluff. There was no crappin way I was going into the attic with a bat that was obviously disturbed about something.
So today Melissa perused through the Yellow Pages and found a bat removal specialist. I would have tried to get the bat out myself but I reasoned that as soon as the bat were to have made a move toward me, I would have jumped straight through the ceiling and created a big mess. I even went so far as to call a friend who is a Game Warden to see if it was legal to shoot the bat. It is legal but I reasoned against that fearing that 1.) I would end up shooting a large hole in the side of the house or 2.) I would jump straight through the ceiling with a gun in my hand thus making a huge hole in the ceiling and shooting a hole in the side of the house at the same time.
So I decided to wait for bat man to arrive. He showed up in a Safari painted truck, with a sign on the side that said "Warning Live Animals". He came inside and proceeded into the attic. I expected that he would have some fancy net or giant can of bat eradicator spray. Nope, his plan was to just grab the bat with his hands. First the guy picking up the snakes with his hands a few weeks ago in Cincinnati and now this guy was going to pick up the bat with his hand. Maybe I just didn't go to the right man school growing up because there is no way I am picking up critters in my hands. Once again, I'm just not the man.
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