Update and more

Isaac's bone marrow biopsy went smooth and we are already back at the house here in Cincinnati. We had to be there at 7:00 a.m.. We left for the hospital at 6:30 a.m. and it should have taken only about 15 minutes to get there but today it is raining and the people up here cannot drive in the rain so we did not get there until 7:20. Amazingly, they prepped him for the procedure and took him on back to anesthesia. He was wide awake within about thirty minutes and wanting to go to Toys R Us. Any time he has to be put to sleep for any procedures, that means that he gets an automatic trip to the toy store. And speaking of the toy store, if you don't know what to say to someone who is sick or going through something, don't say anything.

A friend and I were talking last year about how people sometimes feel like they have to say something when you are going through something or see that your child is sick. Many times people don't know what to say and so instead of saying nothing, they blurt out some of the stupidest stuff that you could ever say to someone.(Here are a couple of true examples of stupid stuff that people have said to us or Isaac within the last couple of years. ex. Today as we walked up to the counter at Toys R Us, the clerk proceeds to look at Isaac with his mask on and say "Well what's wrong with you? You sick?" Melissa tells her that he has had a BMT and his immune system is low. She then says "Maybe you can take that mask off tommorrow". I know she probably meant well but pointing out the fact that he is different for having to wear a mask is not the best thing to do for a kid. Again, saying nothing would have been great in this situation.

Next example. Some time back, we were in a store about to head up to Cincinnati when the man in the store noticed Isaac wearing his mask. He then proceeded to ask Isaac why he was wearing a mask. Melissa told him we were heading to Cincinnati for Isaac's doctor appointments because of his health problems. He then proceeds to say the following to us "You know there is another little boy in the area that is having some problems like yours, I hear that he might not make it. What's your name?" Isaac tells him his name and then he says "oh yeah that was you they were talking about"
Needless to say that I almost went to jail that day because if Isaac hadn't still been standing there, I probably would have beat the living crap out of that guy.

Anyways, 99% of people are great when it comes to making comments or encouraging Isaac. But, if you are in that 1 percent and you don't know what to say to someone in a tough situation, then here are some helpful tips. 1. Don't tell them you know what they are going through because you don't. 2. Don't make them feel like there is something wrong with them. Treat them normal. 3. It is ok to ask them how they are doing. They will usually tell you all they want you to know. Try not to pry deeper because it could be tough for them to talk about. They will tell you what they are going through when they feel comfortable talking about it. 4. If a child is involved try to ask about them when the child is not around. Kids carry a ton of worry around inside their head and the more it is mentioned around them, the more they worry.
5.Don't say "is there anything we can do for you" just to make conversation. Be specific with people. People going through some type of medical trauma aren't likely to respond to a general offer of help because they don't want to feel that they are a burden. Ask questions like, Are there any special instructions I need to cut your grass at your house? What type of groceries do you like? What time can I sit in the hospital for you so that you can get some rest? People going through situations don't want to feel they are burdening others and general questions like "is there anything I can do" makes them feel more of a burden. 5. The best thing that you can say if you don't know what to say is this "I am sorry that is happening, I am praying for you. Let me pray for you right now" and then pray for them right then.

Follow these steps and you won't be the awkward idiot when it comes to talking to others going through tough times.

We wont know the results of the biopsy for a few days. We will update when we find out.