I'm Alive, The Church Hasn't Burned Down and Everything will be Normal Tommorrow

First off, I am back home sitting in my recliner after a minor accident at the church this morning. I'm sure the rumor mill has already started so here is the scoop:

This morning I went up the church at about 7:45 a.m. to go over my message and then I was going to go to Kid's World with our Anderson Campus. I walked in my office and decided to clean the dust out of a used projector we were going to use for the kid's area in a few weeks. I had bought a can of that air spray that you spray into electronics to clean dust out. Not thinking anything about it being plugged in, I was holding the projector and looking into the projector. It was about 4 or 5 inches from my face. I shot a burst of air and it knocked some dust out of the back. I shot a second burst of air and "it happened".

Apparently the dust hit a spark and it ignited in my face. It startled me and I gasped. When I gasped, I inhaled the flame. I jumped up from the ground and ran to the bathroom. I took two big breathes but nothing. I was gasping and could not get any oxygen. I splashed water into my face and mouth not knowing if I was on fire. I took a third breathe and nothing. I looked down at my pocket for my phone and realized it was not there. I ran for the door knowing I needed to get help. I took three or four more breaths trying to breathe but I still couldn't get any oxgen. I ran out the door and began getting lightheaded from no oxygen. I saw some people having a yard sale and headed toward them. As I was about halfway there I got my first little bit of breathe in about a minute or so. I sat down in the parking lot and they called 911. Someone ran over to check to see if there was still a fire and it was out only a strong burning smell.

EMS arrived within two - three minutes and off to GMH we went. They put me on oxygen for about an hour, poked me with needles in all types of places, xrayed me, gave me steroids, let friends and family come in and make fun of me and my bare chestedness, and ripped alot of my arm, hand and chest hair off with all of the things they stuck on me.

Xrays showed no glass in my lungs. One of the people who went to check the building had told the EMS guy that he thought the bulb had exploded and they wanted to be sure I hadn't inhaled glass. In fact, we went by on the way home and looked and the bulb hadn't exploded but rather the dust had ignited.

The Doctor said it had burnt all of my nose hairs so I am good there for a month or so. She said I had scorched the upper bronchiole passages in my lungs and I had scorched the trachial lining in my throat. They gave me some steroids to help it recover and released me to go home. Right now it feels like a bad case of bronchitis mixed with strep throat.

I guess my tryout to be one of the two witnesses that breathed fire in Revelation 11 didn't go so well and maybe next time I will take a page from Bill Clinton and not inhale.

See you at church tomorrow and I find it only appropriate that we're singing Fire Fall Down tomorrow.

P.S. If someone knows of where I can get a good used projector for cheap let me know. I have one I can trade in but I'd be afraid to plug it in.